5 Common Myths About Introverts
“Introverts aren’t party poopers, they’re just pooped by the party.”
– Dr. Otto Kroeger
We introverts are aliens in this extroverted world. While we prefer to lay low, we actually tend to stand out. Everything we do, we do so quietly. And that for some reason or another makes people uncomfortable. Thus providing a breeding ground for myths about introverts to flourish.
Sometimes it feels as though everyone thinks there is something wrong with us. That it’s absurd to believe that someone could be so quiet. And a lot of times it seems that people think they truly know who we are without ever taking the time to truly get to know us.
While it’s frustrating to be so misunderstood by many, I have finally learned to embrace my quiet self. However, there are times when it can still be a struggle.
Over the years, I’ve heard descriptions of introverts that are simply not true. So today, I wanted to set the record straight and discuss some of the common myths that as an introvert, bother me.
Myth #1 – We’re Too Quiet
Out of all the myths about introversion, this one has always bothered me the most. My reserved nature is definitely asked about more than any other aspect of my personality. And since it’s something that’s consistently brought up by others, it can cause you to second-guess everything yourself. Even though it’s just who you are.
You may start to think things like “Gosh, I am super quiet. No one else seems to be. Why is that? What is wrong with me?”
You think like this simply because most everyone who isn’t an introvert is confused by your quiet nature. So, you start to believe there must be something wrong with you.
When I was a teenager, I was consistently around an adult who would literally count the number of words I would say by hand. This would happen any time I talked when I was around this person. Then, they would proceed to say out loud to everyone, “Amber just said 10 words! Can you believe that?!”
I was never quite sure how to react. I was younger and just didn’t stand up for myself that much in those days. So usually, I would just laugh it off and go on as if nothing happened. But, in reality, it was humiliating and degrading. I felt like my true self was being questioned. And that being a quiet person just isn’t acceptable.
But over time, I learned that being quiet is perfectly okay, even if society doesn’t say so. It is what makes you unique and sets you apart from everyone else. As a quiet person, you often get to take in everything else that the majority of people miss out on. It can be quite a magical world if you can learn to accept and embrace it.
Myth #2 – We Don’t Like People
Humans are social creatures, and just because we’re introverts doesn’t make this statement any less true. Just like anyone else, we too yearn for social connection. We just prefer it in small doses (and in intimate settings).
Don’t get me wrong, I love a good party now and then. But after a while, I’m ready to head back home to my safe haven and decompress. Rarely is my departure about people in general, but is more about the fact that I’ve become overly stimulated.
Sometimes I’m all about having a good time and will be one of the last to leave. But that doesn’t mean my energy levels aren’t depleted. Whenever I’m around people for an extended period of time, I may need a day (or two) to recuperate.
As introverts, we generally know when too much is well – too much. Our body is typically “screaming” at us to give it what it needs whenever that happens. If we’re around too many people for too long, you may notice a change in our behavior. We may appear apathetic or uninterested.
But this doesn’t mean that we don’t like people. We just need some time to ourselves to re-energize.
Myth #3 – We’re Self-Absorbed
It’s true – introverts do prefer their alone time over being around people all day. It’s where we feel comfortable and most like ourselves. And anyone can understand how good that feels.
But to those that we encounter or have relationships with, they may take our love of solitude the wrong way. They may think that all we care about is ourselves and our happiness. After all, we’re always giving ourselves what we want every time we choose to be alone.
But that simply isn’t the case. Our alone time gives us our energy. And without it, every day would be a struggle. I personally become irritable, fatigued, unmotivated, and not myself whenever I don’t make time for myself.
Our alone time isn’t about being infatuated with ourselves and it doesn’t mean that we don’t care about others. Rather, it’s about rest and recovery so that we can be our best selves. So, please don’t take our need for solitude personally. It’s just something that we need.
Myth #4 – We’re Rude
My quietness has so often been misunderstood for rudeness. It always catches me off guard when I hear through the grapevine that someone thought I wasn’t that friendly. Mostly it’s because I didn’t say much during a recent interaction they had with me. It’s something that can be hard to hear and can cause you to question yourself.
Due to this misconception that some people had of me, I would always worry that I was being rude anytime I didn’t say anything. This was true if I found myself with a group of people or even if I was around just one person.
I would always try my best to not be perceived as rude. Sometimes it got to the point where it caused me to be really socially awkward, which caused me to stand out even more. Something I definitely didn’t want.
Overall, it made me a mess of a human being. I was obsessively thinking that everyone just saw me as stuck-up. But after educating myself on my personality, I realized that I’m not being rude. I’m just a naturally quiet person. And that’s okay.
Myth #5 – We Never Get Lonely
I absolutely love my time alone. It is where my best thoughts and ideas come alive. It’s where I feel truly free. I try to ensure that I get alone time every single day.
But there have been periods in my life where true loneliness crept in. I believe it’s something we all feel at some point or another. And just because you’re an introvert, doesn’t mean you’re immune from it.
Since introverts are so comfortable with aloneness, we can find ourselves in the depths of loneliness before we realize it. We may also have a hard time admitting that we’re lonely and may not even let a soul know.
But that doesn’t mean that loneliness doesn’t exist for introverts. We’re just like any other human being on the face of this planet. We all long for some sort of human connection and will struggle if we don’t get it. We just may not struggle with it as quickly as others do.
It took me years to realize that the above was nothing but a list of myths about introverts. I had it in my head all along that this is who I must be. Someone who is freakishly quiet, self-absorbed, rude, and odd.
Thankfully, I learned about introversion and it made me realize that my quiet nature is truly something to embrace. It is who I am and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
And rather than repeatedly falling victim to these mistaken beliefs of what an introvert truly is, I find myself falling in love with who I am and who I am becoming more every day.
So what about you? What other myths have you heard about introverts? If you’re an introvert, are there any particular misunderstandings that bother you?